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327 pages, Hardcover
First published May 3, 2016
“You can't help if a boy changes you, but you don't let him change your plans.”
“Even though this moment is cheesy and weird and antiquated, it means something. It matters.”
"It seems devastating to have your heart so completely undone for a single person. If they screw up, if they don’t feel the same, if their life is too busy or too complicated or too far away to fit you into it, something inside you breaks. Even when it heals, there are scars."
Track #1: Start of Something New - High School Musical 1 OST
Track #2: Collide - Howie Day
"You won the playlist."
"I won something better than the playlist."
"That’s super cheesy," I say, and he grins down at me.
"But now you embrace cheesy."
"Now I embrace you," I clarify.
"That’s super cheesy," he says, and then we’re swaying back and forth, like Itch and Akemi, like Shaun and Kirk, like everyone else. Because even though this moment is cheesy and weird and antiquated, it means something.
Track #3: Aquaman - Walk the Moon
"It matters because you matter and I love you."
Track #4: Head Over Feet - Alanis Morisette
"You've already won me over in spite of me
And don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet
Don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are
I couldn't help it
It's all your fault"
"All on their own, my lips part under his. All on their own, my arms wrap around him and my hands slide up his back, feeling the ripples of his muscles beneath his shirt. It’s so different from kissing Itch, from kissing Ethan, from kissing any other boy, because this boy is Oliver, and even though he’s completely familiar, I’m discovering him with every tiny movement we make."
Track #5: Run Away With Me - Carly Rae Jepsen
"You look kind of amazing," he says.
"Thank you." It seems weird to tell a boy he looks beautiful, so instead, I slide a finger down the lapel of his tuxedo. "You look like a spy." One of his eyebrows arches up, so I attempt an explanation. "An international spy. A dashing, handsome international spy who sort of has this thing about him that makes all the girls crazy and…What?"
He’s smiling that blinding smile down into my eyes. "It’s another one of those moments," he says.
"Which moment?" I ask, even though I think I know the answer.
"The one where I kiss you."
“Another song for our playlist. When will you ever learn?”
Apparently the answer is “never,” because here we are again: me falling hopelessly; him unaware and unattainable.
The school lobby smells the same way it did at the start of last year: like beauty products and new sneakers and hormones. God, we’re predictable.