Janet (iamltr)

“I give you permission to go home with them and do the kind of filthy things you’ll embarrass your grandchildren with stories about when you’re old and senile and drunk on red wine.”
― Katee Robert, Theirs for the Night

“Tudor Life Tip: Children aren’t born cruel, violent, or sociopathic. So it takes an exhausting amount of neglect and callousness to prepare them for leadership!”
― Henry VIII, Unleash Your Inner Tudor: Henry VIII’s Inspirational Guide to a Completely Sizzling, Sparkly, Tyrannical, Much Wider, Demanding, and Sexier You

“There are few things in the world that make me angrier than poverty, the lack of basic human civil rights, and the fact that most women’s clothes don’t have pockets.Obviously the first two are more pressing, but the pockets thing is pretty irritating too.”
― Jenny Lawson, Furiously Happy: A Funny Book About Horrible Things

“Rules for Peasants Reading This Book 1. Whilst reading this glorious and inspirational guide to life, a full prostration upon the floor (face down, arms outstretched) is preferred but a kneel is okay. But do it with feeling. And don’t try one of those half-hearted one-knees-bent poses! Kneeling means both knees!”
― Henry VIII, Unleash Your Inner Tudor: Henry VIII’s Inspirational Guide to a Completely Sizzling, Sparkly, Tyrannical, Much Wider, Demanding, and Sexier You