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240 pages, Hardcover
First published August 26, 2019


["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>I really wanted to challenge myself with this novel by writing a story with a narrator that is not a typical hero. Bolla’s protagonist is a human wreck, a man that is so lost and broken and wounded that he ends up hurting the people closest to him. In fact, creating this character has been one of the hardest things in my writing career. After failing to find a believable narrator’s voice for him multiple times, I had to disregard some “unwritten rules” of fiction writing, such as the necessity of having the reader in your corner all the time. Doing that also freed me, because now I could write without fear of judgment, and I started getting somewhere. A catharsis isn’t necessarily always peaceful.



Regret caught in the throat, rose up to the mouth like potent bile, its taste wouldn't go away, and guilt took hold of the eyes, making everything its slave, and god wouldn't leave our house either but wandered from room to room in the air that flowed through the apartment, he hid behind our belongings, concealed in cupboards, lurked between the sheets and inside a newly acquired dishwasher, left his role as an answerer of prayers and turned into questions we asked ourselves everyday in front of the mirror but never dared ask each other."