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Darby U Hockey Boys #1
Hidden Scars
Charles Preston Carmichael is the most infuriating man I’ve ever met.
I want to sock the golden boy of college hockey right in the mouth.
He enjoys telling me everything I’m messing up. Publicly.
And since he’s my roommate for the next year, I can’t avoid him.
Yet there’s something about him that makes me watch him.
Something dark.
A secret I want to uncover.
When he returns from a weekend away, broken and haunted, I can’t keep my distance anymore.
He needs someone and I’ll be damned if it’s not me.
Soon my life no longer revolves around hockey, but the nightmares he’s living with.
Desperately I want to save him but I can’t, not yet. The timing has to be just right.
Can I watch him destroy himself as he tries to hold tight to the things that matter or will I be the final hit in the destruction of his life?
I want to sock the golden boy of college hockey right in the mouth.
He enjoys telling me everything I’m messing up. Publicly.
And since he’s my roommate for the next year, I can’t avoid him.
Yet there’s something about him that makes me watch him.
Something dark.
A secret I want to uncover.
When he returns from a weekend away, broken and haunted, I can’t keep my distance anymore.
He needs someone and I’ll be damned if it’s not me.
Soon my life no longer revolves around hockey, but the nightmares he’s living with.
Desperately I want to save him but I can’t, not yet. The timing has to be just right.
Can I watch him destroy himself as he tries to hold tight to the things that matter or will I be the final hit in the destruction of his life?
402 pages, Hardcover
First published November 3, 2022
1875 people are currently reading
11566 people want to read
About the author
Andi Jaxon
34 books2,479 followersFrom Dyslexic kid with a love of Algebra to a published author, no one is more surprised to find me here, than I am. I love to write about tortured pasts and hot sex, a happily ever after that has to be worked for. My stories tend to be a little dark but with some comic relief, typically in the form of sarcasm.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 2,054 reviews
dnf
November 8, 20226th book I DNF. 2nd of the year.
Made it 4% in and then decided to skim. Skimmed up to 14% and decided to call it quits. I got second hand embarrassment three times from the three times Jeremy and Brendon were interrupted having sex by Preston.
This was trash, and not the good kind.
This is marketed as “enemies to lovers” but in reality it’s “I hate him but he’s so hot so I want to fuck him but I still hate him even though I want to know what he tastes like” enemies to lovers.
5% in and Jeremy had a wet dream to the thought of Preston.
I hate that he’s hot. That I want to feel him against me.
10% in and Preston gave Jeremy a hand job.
“Shut the fuck up.” He growls at me. Blood is pounding through my veins, every instinct I have on alert and ready to react, my body tight but wanting to melt into him.
Using his forearm across my chest, he leans into me hard enough to hurt while his other hand shoves into my pants and grabs my dick. I’m hard as steel and shocked into silence for a second when he strokes me.
“What the hell are you doing?” I barely manage to get the words out without groaning.
“I said, shut the fuck up,” Preston bites out. God damn, my knees are weak I’m so fucking turned on. I’m not going to last.
14% in and Preston thinks about how he wants Jeremy’s thighs wrapped around him.
I peer around the seats to see Jeremy in my dark gray suit with the light blue button up shirt. The pants are a little long but they fit his thighs perfectly.
Thighs I desperately want to feel wrapped around me.
He doesn’t look at me while he finds his seat next to Johnson and sits down. The pants accentuate his ass too. I need to stop thinking about him. Oiler looks at Albrooke, takes in what he’s wearing, then looks back at me. I make eye contact with him for a second, one side of my mouth lifts as I close my eyes and relax into the seat for the ride.
Can you feel the hate? 😍
What’s the point of making your characters enemies?
A book I can think of that pulls off this trope even with the sexual attraction pretty early on is Savage Rivals. There was enough hate (although I do admit I wanted more lol) and we see how the characters start having an attraction towards each other that they hate and find confusing. So, again, this had potential and the trope could have been executed well, but not this way. Not to mention, 400+ pages? No thanks.
The fatphobia was so unnecessary. Preston’s relationship with food and his body could have been handled differently.
“I don’t eat that shit. It makes you fat and slow.” He looks me over like what he’s saying is written on my body. “Clearly.” He just drops the words like facts, as casual as if he was talking about the weather.
It’s almost the year 2023. Do better.
If none of this bothers you, this might be the book for you.
Me, though, I’m out. I absolutely loved Tainted by this author, so I recommend that book instead. Considering how this was a total dud, I don’t want to read Bully King, and I am not interested in reading In Between, I don’t think this author is for me. And she isn’t one I want to give multiple chances to (the way I gave RH 7 chances).
I know I only made it 14% in, so I don’t know the whole backstory, but I’d rather save my mental health now than suffer. I feel like if I did finish this, I’d be able to point out more criticisms. This’ll do for now.
Made it 4% in and then decided to skim. Skimmed up to 14% and decided to call it quits. I got second hand embarrassment three times from the three times Jeremy and Brendon were interrupted having sex by Preston.
This was trash, and not the good kind.
This is marketed as “enemies to lovers” but in reality it’s “I hate him but he’s so hot so I want to fuck him but I still hate him even though I want to know what he tastes like” enemies to lovers.
5% in and Jeremy had a wet dream to the thought of Preston.
I hate that he’s hot. That I want to feel him against me.
10% in and Preston gave Jeremy a hand job.
“Shut the fuck up.” He growls at me. Blood is pounding through my veins, every instinct I have on alert and ready to react, my body tight but wanting to melt into him.
Using his forearm across my chest, he leans into me hard enough to hurt while his other hand shoves into my pants and grabs my dick. I’m hard as steel and shocked into silence for a second when he strokes me.
“What the hell are you doing?” I barely manage to get the words out without groaning.
“I said, shut the fuck up,” Preston bites out. God damn, my knees are weak I’m so fucking turned on. I’m not going to last.
14% in and Preston thinks about how he wants Jeremy’s thighs wrapped around him.
I peer around the seats to see Jeremy in my dark gray suit with the light blue button up shirt. The pants are a little long but they fit his thighs perfectly.
Thighs I desperately want to feel wrapped around me.
He doesn’t look at me while he finds his seat next to Johnson and sits down. The pants accentuate his ass too. I need to stop thinking about him. Oiler looks at Albrooke, takes in what he’s wearing, then looks back at me. I make eye contact with him for a second, one side of my mouth lifts as I close my eyes and relax into the seat for the ride.
Can you feel the hate? 😍
What’s the point of making your characters enemies?
A book I can think of that pulls off this trope even with the sexual attraction pretty early on is Savage Rivals. There was enough hate (although I do admit I wanted more lol) and we see how the characters start having an attraction towards each other that they hate and find confusing. So, again, this had potential and the trope could have been executed well, but not this way. Not to mention, 400+ pages? No thanks.
The fatphobia was so unnecessary. Preston’s relationship with food and his body could have been handled differently.
“I don’t eat that shit. It makes you fat and slow.” He looks me over like what he’s saying is written on my body. “Clearly.” He just drops the words like facts, as casual as if he was talking about the weather.
It’s almost the year 2023. Do better.
If none of this bothers you, this might be the book for you.
Me, though, I’m out. I absolutely loved Tainted by this author, so I recommend that book instead. Considering how this was a total dud, I don’t want to read Bully King, and I am not interested in reading In Between, I don’t think this author is for me. And she isn’t one I want to give multiple chances to (the way I gave RH 7 chances).
I know I only made it 14% in, so I don’t know the whole backstory, but I’d rather save my mental health now than suffer. I feel like if I did finish this, I’d be able to point out more criticisms. This’ll do for now.
December 18, 2025
2.5⭐️ Guys I’m sorry I reallyyyyy couldn’t get into this at all. Was it heart breaking? Yes. But I really struggled so hard to connect to these characters. Both separately and as a couple. It felt very one dimensional. Also the plot with his dad felt off to me for some reason I can’t quite pinpoint. Then what happened to his dad in the end and the proposal????? It was gonna be 3 stars before that ending. It felt so forced. I know this is well loved but I fear not by me.
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November 4, 2022
3.5-4 stars ☆
His eyebrows pinch together in confusion. "I'm no one's favorite anything."
"That's bullshit. You're my favorite." 🥹🥹
although i wasn't a huge fan of Bully King, i adored Tainted so i was excited for this after reading the blurb and it delivered (for the most part).
i honestly just wanted to hug Preston bc of the whole situation with his dad and what he's been through and seeing his fear but also the way he just wanted to be loved/cared for was just 🥺 i loved Jeremy for being able to (eventually) see past Preston's facade and wanting to know what he's been hiding. there was a part of me that lowkey hoped there would be a dramatic ass scene with . when it comes to their dynamic, i loved how there would be these little things Jeremy would notice about Preston and reassure him in subtle ways (the finger holding scene?? saving a seat for him in the bus, knowing where he prefers to sit? making sure not to touch his body bc of Preston's fear of touch? 😭). i also loved Jeremy's family and how they were such a loving and loud group of family, which is whom i feel like Preston needed to surround himself with, but Preston's relationship with his sister and his need to protect her was something i adored as well. <3 another thing i loved in the end was .
my few issues:
- the way Preston's dad .
- i swear, there was a moment when Brendon, Jeremy's best friend whom he also had a fuck buddy situation with, felt so weird to me bc he was acting like a jealous boyfriend a few pages ago but, all of a sudden, he was all fine and teasing Jeremy about Preston?? i wished this whole situation was developed more naturally bc it was strange how Brendon made everything a huge deal, only to have a 180 switch the next chapter. 💀
His eyebrows pinch together in confusion. "I'm no one's favorite anything."
"That's bullshit. You're my favorite." 🥹🥹
although i wasn't a huge fan of Bully King, i adored Tainted so i was excited for this after reading the blurb and it delivered (for the most part).
i honestly just wanted to hug Preston bc of the whole situation with his dad and what he's been through and seeing his fear but also the way he just wanted to be loved/cared for was just 🥺 i loved Jeremy for being able to (eventually) see past Preston's facade and wanting to know what he's been hiding. there was a part of me that lowkey hoped there would be a dramatic ass scene with . when it comes to their dynamic, i loved how there would be these little things Jeremy would notice about Preston and reassure him in subtle ways (the finger holding scene?? saving a seat for him in the bus, knowing where he prefers to sit? making sure not to touch his body bc of Preston's fear of touch? 😭). i also loved Jeremy's family and how they were such a loving and loud group of family, which is whom i feel like Preston needed to surround himself with, but Preston's relationship with his sister and his need to protect her was something i adored as well. <3 another thing i loved in the end was .
my few issues:
- the way Preston's dad .
- i swear, there was a moment when Brendon, Jeremy's best friend whom he also had a fuck buddy situation with, felt so weird to me bc he was acting like a jealous boyfriend a few pages ago but, all of a sudden, he was all fine and teasing Jeremy about Preston?? i wished this whole situation was developed more naturally bc it was strange how Brendon made everything a huge deal, only to have a 180 switch the next chapter. 💀
July 11, 2025
* ☘︎ :･ﾟTOP 10 READ 2023 :･ﾟ☘︎ *
re-read July 2025
Still in love with Jeremy and Preston.
re-read March 2023
God, this hit as hard as it did the first time. I couldn't put it down. Again. I really really fucking love this book, as well as Jeremy and Preston! So I bump up my rating a bit. I have no idea how the friends-to-lovers that comes next for Brendon and Paul is supposed to keep up with this one but I’m def curious and looking forward to finding out.
4.75***** stars
Wow. This book was… a handful. And it broke my fucking heart. But it was also an absolute beautiful and heartwarming love story.
I haven’t read anything by this author before but as soon as I started it, I was practically glued to the damn thing and couldn’t put it down. It had me in a chokehold right from the prologue and I couldn’t believe what I was reading.
I read a lot of on-page abuse in romances but this was not even that. What happed here was torture and I have no idea how Preston wasn’t breaking way sooner than he did.
Somehow Jeremy understood early on that Preston wasn’t an asshole and keeping people at arms length for no reason. And when Jeremy was eventually confronted with the aftermath of the abuse Preston had do endure he was absolutely selfless. And although Preston was pushing him away over and over again he was there for him whenever Preston needed him to be. Comforted him and tried to make him feel safe.
They both spent Christmas at Jeremy’s family’s house and that had me actually tearing up a little. So much love in this house. I was so happy Preston got to experience that.
I loved this book. It’s also very steamy and dirty hot.
Jeremy’s and Preston’s love story was intense, to say the least, but also so very beautiful; despite all the awfulness I had to witness along their way.
I have no idea what to say to the tattoo shenanigans at the end *lmaoooo but I want to say I also loved Brendon and Paul… and the team.
**************
Darby U Hockey Boys Series
Book 1 - Hidden Scars 4.75 stars
Book 2 - Blurred Lines - dropped
Book 3 - Off Sides - 3.75 stars
re-read July 2025
Still in love with Jeremy and Preston.
re-read March 2023
God, this hit as hard as it did the first time. I couldn't put it down. Again. I really really fucking love this book, as well as Jeremy and Preston! So I bump up my rating a bit. I have no idea how the friends-to-lovers that comes next for Brendon and Paul is supposed to keep up with this one but I’m def curious and looking forward to finding out.
4.75***** stars
“No one has touched me since my mother died, […] I crave it but it hurts.”
Wow. This book was… a handful. And it broke my fucking heart. But it was also an absolute beautiful and heartwarming love story.
I haven’t read anything by this author before but as soon as I started it, I was practically glued to the damn thing and couldn’t put it down. It had me in a chokehold right from the prologue and I couldn’t believe what I was reading.
I read a lot of on-page abuse in romances but this was not even that. What happed here was torture and I have no idea how Preston wasn’t breaking way sooner than he did.
I want to fight for him, but I don’t know what demons he has. […] No one deserves to be afraid like that.
Somehow Jeremy understood early on that Preston wasn’t an asshole and keeping people at arms length for no reason. And when Jeremy was eventually confronted with the aftermath of the abuse Preston had do endure he was absolutely selfless. And although Preston was pushing him away over and over again he was there for him whenever Preston needed him to be. Comforted him and tried to make him feel safe.
“No one has touched me since my mother died, unless it was to inflict pain,” he whispers against my lips. “I crave it but it hurts.”
“I don’t want to hurt you.”
“You don’t. You make it better.”
They both spent Christmas at Jeremy’s family’s house and that had me actually tearing up a little. So much love in this house. I was so happy Preston got to experience that.
I loved this book. It’s also very steamy and dirty hot.
Jeremy’s and Preston’s love story was intense, to say the least, but also so very beautiful; despite all the awfulness I had to witness along their way.
I have no idea what to say to the tattoo shenanigans at the end *lmaoooo but I want to say I also loved Brendon and Paul… and the team.
“We’re a team,” Carpenter says. “Nobody fucks with you but us.” ♡♡♡
**************
Darby U Hockey Boys Series
Book 1 - Hidden Scars 4.75 stars
Book 2 - Blurred Lines - dropped
Book 3 - Off Sides - 3.75 stars
November 23, 2022
How can a person be home?
This was incredibly heartbreaking and angsty. These two deserve the whole world and I’m so glad they found each other. I really appreciated how well trauma was written about in this book and the discussion about how hard it can be to even start the journey to healing. As always, love Andi’s writing. Hidden Scars reminds me of one of my favorite songs - San Marcos by Brockhampton. 💙
This was incredibly heartbreaking and angsty. These two deserve the whole world and I’m so glad they found each other. I really appreciated how well trauma was written about in this book and the discussion about how hard it can be to even start the journey to healing. As always, love Andi’s writing. Hidden Scars reminds me of one of my favorite songs - San Marcos by Brockhampton. 💙
June 10, 2024
Hidden Scars is a story that is more complex than I ever could have anticipated. It has many elements that make it a highly addictive story. This is a multifaceted story featuring: bullying, roommates to lovers and hurt/comfort elements that make for such a complicated and moving story.
Hidden Scars focuses on Preston, who is a legendary hockey player that is a standoffish grump who is has many secrets. His roommate Jeremy is the complete opposite and is shocked by the blatant hostility coming from his roommate. They butt heads, disagree often, while simmering beneath every interaction is a sizzling chemistry difficult to ignore.
The relationship between Jeremy and Preston is what drives this story. They both have a connection that forces Preston to reveal many deeply troubling truths about his life he keeps hidden. Jeremy is determined to help his roommate escape and confront his dark past, which leads to many nerve-racking situations.
Preston is a complicated character and the reality of his situation is extremely troubling and offers many reasons for his behavior. The darker aspect of this story was very well handled and I appreciated the gentle approach Jeremy had with showing another person love, security and safety. Jeremy literally becomes Preston's safe place, which makes their relationship even more endearing.
Overall Hidden Scars is a wonderfully dark, intense story where two complete opposites find a connection and together they cannot imagine a life without the other. Another excellent story from this author, I cannot wait for her next one!
Hidden Scars focuses on Preston, who is a legendary hockey player that is a standoffish grump who is has many secrets. His roommate Jeremy is the complete opposite and is shocked by the blatant hostility coming from his roommate. They butt heads, disagree often, while simmering beneath every interaction is a sizzling chemistry difficult to ignore.
The relationship between Jeremy and Preston is what drives this story. They both have a connection that forces Preston to reveal many deeply troubling truths about his life he keeps hidden. Jeremy is determined to help his roommate escape and confront his dark past, which leads to many nerve-racking situations.
Preston is a complicated character and the reality of his situation is extremely troubling and offers many reasons for his behavior. The darker aspect of this story was very well handled and I appreciated the gentle approach Jeremy had with showing another person love, security and safety. Jeremy literally becomes Preston's safe place, which makes their relationship even more endearing.
Overall Hidden Scars is a wonderfully dark, intense story where two complete opposites find a connection and together they cannot imagine a life without the other. Another excellent story from this author, I cannot wait for her next one!
November 14, 2022
i hated everything and everyone 😭
i did not like preston. i understood his trauma, but i don't think the writer was able to create characters you can create connections with. they were so badly written that it was like they were made out of cardboard. there was a bunch of problems the writer never talked about, like the fact preston obviously had an ed? it's never talked about and it's like a running joke on the book where he says dumb stuff like "don't eat that, it will made you fat and slow". and even on the EPILOGUEEE he still thinks that. and i thought he got an ed because of his father?? and let's talk about his father. its like the evil father trope came to life. there's no depth to his character either, he's simply a evil plastic surgeon. the whole plot involving him - which was pretty much the entire book - was underdeveloped and sloppy.
jeremy was just... there. he was literally a emotional support person 😭 no thoughts just taking care of preston
and there was no reason for this book to be so long when there was literally only one plotline going on. and there were so many of the same repeated conversations happening. it was tiring to read
i did not like preston. i understood his trauma, but i don't think the writer was able to create characters you can create connections with. they were so badly written that it was like they were made out of cardboard. there was a bunch of problems the writer never talked about, like the fact preston obviously had an ed? it's never talked about and it's like a running joke on the book where he says dumb stuff like "don't eat that, it will made you fat and slow". and even on the EPILOGUEEE he still thinks that. and i thought he got an ed because of his father?? and let's talk about his father. its like the evil father trope came to life. there's no depth to his character either, he's simply a evil plastic surgeon. the whole plot involving him - which was pretty much the entire book - was underdeveloped and sloppy.
jeremy was just... there. he was literally a emotional support person 😭 no thoughts just taking care of preston
and there was no reason for this book to be so long when there was literally only one plotline going on. and there were so many of the same repeated conversations happening. it was tiring to read
March 15, 2023
Loved this book! I am not much for sporty type stories, but I am totally hooked by this whole hockey theme now and am hurriedly adding more to my TBR list.
My heart broke so much for Preston. Preston's father was an absolute evil POS who deserved so much more than he got.
I absolutely loved how caring Jeremy was and in tune to Preston's internal struggles. And the sex was HOT.
Jeremy's family was adorable and I had fun with the whole family giving each other a hard time over everything. Also loved how the whole team came together for Preston to help protect him at the end.
I am dying to know what is going on/what happened with Brendon and Paul! Are they getting a story??
My heart broke so much for Preston. Preston's father was an absolute evil POS who deserved so much more than he got.
I absolutely loved how caring Jeremy was and in tune to Preston's internal struggles. And the sex was HOT.
Jeremy's family was adorable and I had fun with the whole family giving each other a hard time over everything. Also loved how the whole team came together for Preston to help protect him at the end.
I am dying to know what is going on/what happened with Brendon and Paul! Are they getting a story??
November 23, 2023
Audio - 5 Stars
Story - 3.5 stars
Story - 3.5 stars
August 17, 2023
“I fucking love you,” he snarls, slapping my cheek with the other hand.
🤡 Whose laughing at me at the fact that this is my 1st 5 star book of the year? 🤡 👋👋
Let me get one thing straight. Around the time this book released, nearly everyone and their mother was sobbing over this book and calling it the angst of the year, so angsty it broke their heart. That can only mean one thing right?
The hurt must be harsher than the good and comfort and I would spend the rest of the time reading this book being utterly frustrated with the characters.
Which sounded like the worst kind of book for me.
Can I clarify that NONE OF THAT was actually TRUE.
Preston is an asshole ninety percent of the time but the more I’m around him, the more I see cracks in that armor. No one deserves to be afraid like that.
Like I understand why everyone was sobbing over this book (yes I didn't), yes I see why people call this book angsty af (I wouldn't call this book angsty at ALL) so HONESTLY, I just experienced the incredulity of a miscommunication trope with this book and I don't know if I should laugh ot slap myself.
I mean, ffs, the title of this book is called Hidden Scars. If that doesn't mean angst until I literally choke on my last breath, I don't know what is.
Like, there WASN'T even a 3rd act break up (!!) Is this book EVEN REAL?????
Sigh.
Albeit, this book wasn't, at all, as terrible, as horrifying or frustrating as I thought.
In fact, I'm considering rating this book 5 bloody stars, and now I'm laughing in mania because if you've seen my precious reviews, I HAVEN'T HAD ONE 5 STAR BOOK THIS YEAR.
Anywaysssssssss.
Onto the book.
I fall asleep pondering the life of Charles Preston Carmichael. Everyone thinks he’s a spoiled, rich kid, but maybe the grass isn’t greener just because your family has money.
Now, hurt comfort is not my favorite trope (if it's not done to the way I like) because most of than not, the hurt is usually the focus (as it should be) but it overwhelms the book and the characters so much that all we really talk about, all the characters are about is trauma and pain. And I hate those kinds of books. That was the exact expectations I had with this book.
I just got enough with everyone having such high praise for this book and said to myself I'd try it out.
Yes, Mariam is in fact a visceral clown in every aspect of her life.
“I don’t care if you hate me or not, have some self-respect and show up to the game looking like you belong there.”
This book was more than just about trauma and pain. It was about falling in love in a way that changes your whole world. It was about holding onto someone despite every fucking odd telling you otherwise. It was about trusting your gut and letting someone in. It was about fighting for someone. Being there for someone. Making someone your number one fucking priority. This book is about eating pizza and so many carbs, and being slow and fat anyway because that's how life should be taken.
This book was about love and how it can nourish even the most ugly, fragile and deeply ridden scars in our life.
This book needed every single page to be told and maybe even more.
The guy is difficult, has anger issues, and is about as cuddly as a cactus, but I want him anyway. I want to be his safe space, to see a part of him that no one else sees.
I'm so proud of Preston and I adore him deeply. And most of all? I'm so thankful for Jeremy because he never gave up on Preston. He fought for him, he struggled, but he never stopped caring, never stopped going out of his way to protect Preston and cherish him the way he deserves.
This world needs more of Jeremy.
“Thank you for not giving up on me.”
→ And just for funsies, BE MYSELF by Why Don't We is THE SONG FOR THIS BOOK!!!!!
The only thing subpar with this book was the smut. It was hot, sure, but it wasn't steamy.
And yes, The way I thought long and so bloody hard about my rating for this book is hilarious.
Initial review:
Someone has to convince me not to rate this 5 stars because I would actually think I'm cursed if I do.
Why? Cus I told myself I'd never read this book.
August 13, 2023
He lifts one side of his mouth in a small smile but drops it quickly. "I'm sorry I'm a fucking mess."
I squeeze his hand. "I'm not. I love you the way you are."
andi jaxon's hidden scars is my newest supreme. this book got me in a choke hold like from the start. from the prologue to be exact. i was just consuming and eating every chapter while lana del rey's say yes to heaven song playing in loop. it was a divine experience. jeremy and preston are top tier. the way they each carried their own chapters are chefs kiss. i was slightly tearing up for every moments that preston were vulnerable and just open. the laptop scene? that sealed the 5 stars for me. this book won't be for everyone but i'm so fucking delighted that it worked for me.
November 17, 2022
Heartbreaking and so beautiful
Hidden Scars was such a pleasant surprise for me! I loved everything about this book.
This book has the power to destroy you, and make you cry (yes, you will need tissues) but then it will warm your heart in such a gentle way, make you smile, laugh, and enjoy parts that you didn't see coming.
This book was such an emotional rollercoaster. I didn't expect half the emotions I felt while reading it. And I most definitely didn't see it coming how much I would fall in love with these boys. Yes, a few times I put down the book because it got heavy for me but not once did I think about dnf this book.
Preston and Jeremy deserve the world. And I'm happy with the ending. Trust me when I say all the pain is worth it at the end of the book.
The spicy scenes were HOT (mainly because of the kink Jeremy had and the thing Preston needed 🥵).
I think one thing at the end could have used a bit more attention but honestly, after all the emotional rollercoaster I went through I was just glad I didn't have to read about it (and could just imagine it). I wish we got a bit more of them at the end, but hey, I'm not complaining! They got their happiness and happily ever after and that's what matters.
Hidden Scars have special characters and an amazing writing style!!! I will most definitely check out other books by Andi Jaxon.
P.S. I need the fluffies fluffy book after this one. 🤣 I mean, I loved it! But it was draining and very intense.
Hidden Scars was such a pleasant surprise for me! I loved everything about this book.
This book has the power to destroy you, and make you cry (yes, you will need tissues) but then it will warm your heart in such a gentle way, make you smile, laugh, and enjoy parts that you didn't see coming.
This book was such an emotional rollercoaster. I didn't expect half the emotions I felt while reading it. And I most definitely didn't see it coming how much I would fall in love with these boys. Yes, a few times I put down the book because it got heavy for me but not once did I think about dnf this book.
Preston and Jeremy deserve the world. And I'm happy with the ending. Trust me when I say all the pain is worth it at the end of the book.
The spicy scenes were HOT (mainly because of the kink Jeremy had and the thing Preston needed 🥵).
I think one thing at the end could have used a bit more attention but honestly, after all the emotional rollercoaster I went through I was just glad I didn't have to read about it (and could just imagine it). I wish we got a bit more of them at the end, but hey, I'm not complaining! They got their happiness and happily ever after and that's what matters.
Hidden Scars have special characters and an amazing writing style!!! I will most definitely check out other books by Andi Jaxon.
P.S. I need the fluffies fluffy book after this one. 🤣 I mean, I loved it! But it was draining and very intense.
November 25, 2022
This was a pretty hard book for me to get into. Preston was such a cold asshole that I couldn't understand why Jeremy even liked him. At one point he even punched Jeremy in the face and that really took me out of the book and it was hard for me to get back into it and I had a hard time sympathizing with him.
Preston's backstory with his father, while very sad, seemed a bit implausible to me as well.
I did love Jeremy's family and the found family vibes in this book. Loved the forced proximity. I am glad Preston started therapy, I wish more books would include this.
Preston's backstory with his father, while very sad, seemed a bit implausible to me as well.
I did love Jeremy's family and the found family vibes in this book. Loved the forced proximity. I am glad Preston started therapy, I wish more books would include this.
November 3, 2022
He lowers his face to mine and speaks through clenched teeth. "I. Don't. Share."
Well. I absolutely loved Hidden Scars by Andi Jaxon, it just totally ticked all of my boxes. There are some sensitive issues, so definitely check the author's TWs if you have any concerns.
This is a standalone, angsty, MM college sports romance (ice hockey), with a strong enemies to lovers vibe and a great supporting cast of characters that I'd love to see more of. But this book is allllll about Preston and Jeremy and I completely adored them.
Jeremy is all light and positivity and strength, with a wonderfully supportive family and defined goals. He is out, and in a friends with benefits 'relationship' with his best friend and team mate Brendon, but it just doesn't push his buttons. There isn't any cheating in the book.
Preston is a star hockey player, recently transferred onto Jeremy's college team. But Preston has secrets. He has a horrific background of hidden scars and heartbreak and he doesn't reveal much of himself to anyone. Until Jeremy.
Their relationship begins in fire and passion and hate, but you just know there's so much more to it. And Jeremy is determined to get to the bottom of the secrets that threaten to destroy Preston.
"I want to fight for him, but I don't know what demons he has."
Loved it! Can totally recommend.
All the stars ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Well. I absolutely loved Hidden Scars by Andi Jaxon, it just totally ticked all of my boxes. There are some sensitive issues, so definitely check the author's TWs if you have any concerns.
This is a standalone, angsty, MM college sports romance (ice hockey), with a strong enemies to lovers vibe and a great supporting cast of characters that I'd love to see more of. But this book is allllll about Preston and Jeremy and I completely adored them.
Jeremy is all light and positivity and strength, with a wonderfully supportive family and defined goals. He is out, and in a friends with benefits 'relationship' with his best friend and team mate Brendon, but it just doesn't push his buttons. There isn't any cheating in the book.
Preston is a star hockey player, recently transferred onto Jeremy's college team. But Preston has secrets. He has a horrific background of hidden scars and heartbreak and he doesn't reveal much of himself to anyone. Until Jeremy.
Their relationship begins in fire and passion and hate, but you just know there's so much more to it. And Jeremy is determined to get to the bottom of the secrets that threaten to destroy Preston.
"I want to fight for him, but I don't know what demons he has."
Loved it! Can totally recommend.
All the stars ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
![Profile Image for Lilly [Hiatus due to School] .](/_next/image?url=https%3A%2F%2Fi.gr-assets.com%2Fimages%2FS%2Fcompressed.photo.goodreads.com%2Fusers%2F1663899589i%2F10381707._UX200_CR0%2C0%2C200%2C200_.jpg&w=128&q=75)
November 7, 2022
"My heart wants it but my mind can’t handle it. I want it but it hurts. Skin on my skin turns my stomach but my heart wants to be comforted."
Hidden Scars is the story of Preston, a star college hockey player who, on the outside, seems to have it all but, in reality, lives with tremendous abuse and trauma at the hands of his father. We also have Jeremy, a hockey player who aspires to become a coach after college.
Preston knew nothing but abuse and hurt his whole life. His mother was killed, he was isolated from people, and he had no friends growing up. He is a hurt soul, creates walls, and uses anger to protect himself. He had to endure his horrid father’s abuse and protect his younger sister from becoming his victim. While he comes off as really unlikable he has internalized much of the abuse from his father that he often projects it to others.
Jeremy sees through the cracks in his armour and understands that he needs to push past his hostile exterior and be patient with him. Slowly hate turns into understanding, and understanding turns into love.
The chemistry between them is so intense and passionate. I loved the roughness and tender moments. I also love how unapologetically gay Jeremy was. He wasn’t afraid to show his love for Preston in front of his family, and that is what he needed. Someone who wasn’t ashamed and proud of him and was willing to stand next to him.
This book managed emotionally wreck me. It was a story of trauma, hurt and healing. There is a lot of drama and some over the top moments but it worked for me. This story has dark, angsty tones to it, so check TWs. This was my first book by Andi Jaxon, and definitely not my last.
Hidden Scars is the story of Preston, a star college hockey player who, on the outside, seems to have it all but, in reality, lives with tremendous abuse and trauma at the hands of his father. We also have Jeremy, a hockey player who aspires to become a coach after college.
Preston knew nothing but abuse and hurt his whole life. His mother was killed, he was isolated from people, and he had no friends growing up. He is a hurt soul, creates walls, and uses anger to protect himself. He had to endure his horrid father’s abuse and protect his younger sister from becoming his victim. While he comes off as really unlikable he has internalized much of the abuse from his father that he often projects it to others.
Jeremy sees through the cracks in his armour and understands that he needs to push past his hostile exterior and be patient with him. Slowly hate turns into understanding, and understanding turns into love.
The chemistry between them is so intense and passionate. I loved the roughness and tender moments. I also love how unapologetically gay Jeremy was. He wasn’t afraid to show his love for Preston in front of his family, and that is what he needed. Someone who wasn’t ashamed and proud of him and was willing to stand next to him.
This book managed emotionally wreck me. It was a story of trauma, hurt and healing. There is a lot of drama and some over the top moments but it worked for me. This story has dark, angsty tones to it, so check TWs. This was my first book by Andi Jaxon, and definitely not my last.
August 13, 2023
Disturbing things
Addictive read
Intense
Tears were shed
Hockey
Addictive read
Intense
Tears were shed
Hockey
![Profile Image for Megan [At The Cottage].](/_next/image?url=https%3A%2F%2Fi.gr-assets.com%2Fimages%2FS%2Fcompressed.photo.goodreads.com%2Fusers%2F1634561405i%2F25103878._UY200_CR50%2C0%2C200%2C200_.jpg&w=128&q=75)
March 22, 2023
MM Romance
Hockey Hurt/Comfort
4 Stars ⭐️
If it wasn’t clear, I can’t review this without massive spoilers. Just a warning. 😊
I’m feeling a bit torn on this book if I’m honest and I’m not surprised. I seem to love this author’s short anthology stories especially the darkkkk ones (Scouts Anthology 💗) but when it comes to Jaxon’s full length books, I haven’t been a fan. I HATED Bully King and I could have done without Rescue Me as well which is why it took me so long to even pick this up but I genuinely liked the characters and I found it hard to put this book down once I started. While I liked a lot about this, there were other things that just didn’t work for me and it prevented me from rating this higher. I actually think 4 stars may be a bit generous but 3 stars is just too low because the things I liked, I loved and despite this being over 400 pages, it felt like it took me no time at all to read it.
So this is about Preston and Jeremy and how they go from enemies to everything. Enemies is not the right word though because this is more of an act Preston has to keep his secrets hidden and to keep anyone from getting close to him. Jeremy is Preston’s roommate and he’s drawn to him even though he knows he should stay away because of how Preston treats him. Preston comes off as a total asshole who is blunt and rude to everyone around him and this creates a lot of tension between him and Jeremy but there’s a thin line between love and hate and these two are about to stumble into it.
Let’s talk about what I liked first. I loved Jeremy’s family and the scenes with the blankets were super touching. I loved when Preston comes to see Jeremy during Christmas and the ball sack Santas. That part made me laugh out loud especially at how mortified Preston was. 😂 I loved how he was with Ella. 💗 The sex scenes were wicked hot although they did get repetitive after awhile but more on that later. I absolutely loved the neediness between Preston and Jeremy. It was highly toxic and OTT at times because Preston legit couldn’t sleep unless he was snuggled up with Jeremy but I loved it. I especially loved how possessive and protective Preston was over Jeremy and the marks he left on him to claim him were hot. I loved how the team rallied around Preston after the news broke about his dad and how they shielded him from reporters. I also liked the 5 years later epilogue and what their life had turned out as. Loved the dog, Zamboni. I also appreciated how the author didn’t make Brendon into a villain because in the beginning it really looked like it was going to be cliche like that but thankfully I really warmed up to him.
HOWEVER, this book has some really heavy issues in it but I was never brought to tears. I hated reading about Preston’s dad cutting him and the horror that whole ritual entailed but I never felt the emotional angst I should have while reading this. This kept my interest the entire time but I was not moved by it and that’s an issue. I should have been a mess reading this and I wanted to be because I use angsty books to heal myself. This may sound weird but angsty romance books help me deal with my emotions in a relatively healthy way especially compared to how I used to cope (🍷🚬 etc). I have chronic pain from this freak accident that happened years ago and it’s not only a physical but a mental struggle too. It’s hard to explain but sometimes it just becomes too fucking much to deal with and I almost become kind of numb to life in general. Reading something angsty lets that emotion out and because there is a HEA, I generally feel better afterwards. It sounds bizarre but it works and this book had some horrific content so the fact I wasn’t moved by it means as much as I liked this book, there was something off that kept me from truly connecting with it. So here’s what I had issues with.
While the sex scenes were wicked hot initially, I felt like they were super repetitive as time went on and didn’t do anything to deepen their connection. Preston needed control to overcome his nightmares among other things so he would need to take Jeremy rough and claim him. I liked it at first but I found myself wanting to see a softer side to them in bed and not just violent, barely any lube, make it hurt sex. Even the scenes where Preston shows his scars to Jeremy and they fuck were just that, fucking, and I needed more.
I was not satisfied with what happened to Preston’s dad at the end. Preston’s dad was so horrific and I felt like how that all unfolded at the end was ridiculous. For such a long book, it felt rushed and I wanted to see him fry for what he did not jump off a balcony while giving some lame reasons over the phone for his behavior. I also found it odd how everyone found out Preston’s secret. It was almost too easy and the dad seemed like the kind of guy that would have had someone keeping an eye on Preston so in case this kind of thing happened, he’d be able to keep it under wraps. It just didn’t make much sense to me and I wanted to see the dad suffer. I also felt like the mom’s murder was some kind of missed opportunity by the author and I wanted more from it like for him to go down for that too!
While I liked the fact Preston finally went to therapy near the end, it just didn’t seem like enough for everything he had endured.
I absolutely HATED the proposal in the second to last chapter. It was only 2 weeks after the dad killed himself, Preston was still in a sling, they were only 21 and had been together 2 months maybe? Preston hadn’t even started to work on himself or his issues and he’s fucking proposing? WTF. This felt so similar to Rescue Me and was part of the reason that book didn’t work for me so to see it done in the same way here was just too much.
I liked the tattoo until Brendon decided to get the same one. What the actual fuck was that about?
But overall I liked this book and fun fact. The model on the left side of this cover, Lochie, is the same model who is on the right side of the Bully King cover. Also I follow the insta of the woman who photographs these boys and there are some super hot videos of these two from their photo shoot. 💗
Hockey Hurt/Comfort
4 Stars ⭐️
If it wasn’t clear, I can’t review this without massive spoilers. Just a warning. 😊
I’m feeling a bit torn on this book if I’m honest and I’m not surprised. I seem to love this author’s short anthology stories especially the darkkkk ones (Scouts Anthology 💗) but when it comes to Jaxon’s full length books, I haven’t been a fan. I HATED Bully King and I could have done without Rescue Me as well which is why it took me so long to even pick this up but I genuinely liked the characters and I found it hard to put this book down once I started. While I liked a lot about this, there were other things that just didn’t work for me and it prevented me from rating this higher. I actually think 4 stars may be a bit generous but 3 stars is just too low because the things I liked, I loved and despite this being over 400 pages, it felt like it took me no time at all to read it.
So this is about Preston and Jeremy and how they go from enemies to everything. Enemies is not the right word though because this is more of an act Preston has to keep his secrets hidden and to keep anyone from getting close to him. Jeremy is Preston’s roommate and he’s drawn to him even though he knows he should stay away because of how Preston treats him. Preston comes off as a total asshole who is blunt and rude to everyone around him and this creates a lot of tension between him and Jeremy but there’s a thin line between love and hate and these two are about to stumble into it.
Let’s talk about what I liked first. I loved Jeremy’s family and the scenes with the blankets were super touching. I loved when Preston comes to see Jeremy during Christmas and the ball sack Santas. That part made me laugh out loud especially at how mortified Preston was. 😂 I loved how he was with Ella. 💗 The sex scenes were wicked hot although they did get repetitive after awhile but more on that later. I absolutely loved the neediness between Preston and Jeremy. It was highly toxic and OTT at times because Preston legit couldn’t sleep unless he was snuggled up with Jeremy but I loved it. I especially loved how possessive and protective Preston was over Jeremy and the marks he left on him to claim him were hot. I loved how the team rallied around Preston after the news broke about his dad and how they shielded him from reporters. I also liked the 5 years later epilogue and what their life had turned out as. Loved the dog, Zamboni. I also appreciated how the author didn’t make Brendon into a villain because in the beginning it really looked like it was going to be cliche like that but thankfully I really warmed up to him.
HOWEVER, this book has some really heavy issues in it but I was never brought to tears. I hated reading about Preston’s dad cutting him and the horror that whole ritual entailed but I never felt the emotional angst I should have while reading this. This kept my interest the entire time but I was not moved by it and that’s an issue. I should have been a mess reading this and I wanted to be because I use angsty books to heal myself. This may sound weird but angsty romance books help me deal with my emotions in a relatively healthy way especially compared to how I used to cope (🍷🚬 etc). I have chronic pain from this freak accident that happened years ago and it’s not only a physical but a mental struggle too. It’s hard to explain but sometimes it just becomes too fucking much to deal with and I almost become kind of numb to life in general. Reading something angsty lets that emotion out and because there is a HEA, I generally feel better afterwards. It sounds bizarre but it works and this book had some horrific content so the fact I wasn’t moved by it means as much as I liked this book, there was something off that kept me from truly connecting with it. So here’s what I had issues with.
While the sex scenes were wicked hot initially, I felt like they were super repetitive as time went on and didn’t do anything to deepen their connection. Preston needed control to overcome his nightmares among other things so he would need to take Jeremy rough and claim him. I liked it at first but I found myself wanting to see a softer side to them in bed and not just violent, barely any lube, make it hurt sex. Even the scenes where Preston shows his scars to Jeremy and they fuck were just that, fucking, and I needed more.
I was not satisfied with what happened to Preston’s dad at the end. Preston’s dad was so horrific and I felt like how that all unfolded at the end was ridiculous. For such a long book, it felt rushed and I wanted to see him fry for what he did not jump off a balcony while giving some lame reasons over the phone for his behavior. I also found it odd how everyone found out Preston’s secret. It was almost too easy and the dad seemed like the kind of guy that would have had someone keeping an eye on Preston so in case this kind of thing happened, he’d be able to keep it under wraps. It just didn’t make much sense to me and I wanted to see the dad suffer. I also felt like the mom’s murder was some kind of missed opportunity by the author and I wanted more from it like for him to go down for that too!
While I liked the fact Preston finally went to therapy near the end, it just didn’t seem like enough for everything he had endured.
I absolutely HATED the proposal in the second to last chapter. It was only 2 weeks after the dad killed himself, Preston was still in a sling, they were only 21 and had been together 2 months maybe? Preston hadn’t even started to work on himself or his issues and he’s fucking proposing? WTF. This felt so similar to Rescue Me and was part of the reason that book didn’t work for me so to see it done in the same way here was just too much.
I liked the tattoo until Brendon decided to get the same one. What the actual fuck was that about?
But overall I liked this book and fun fact. The model on the left side of this cover, Lochie, is the same model who is on the right side of the Bully King cover. Also I follow the insta of the woman who photographs these boys and there are some super hot videos of these two from their photo shoot. 💗
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
March 23, 2025
“I don’t want to be a Carmichael anymore. Make me an Albrooke.”
WE HAVE A SERIOUS PROBLEM HERE: Did I just finish this book ? or DID THE BOOK JUST FINISH ME ???????( I'm so unable to form any words, LET . ME . PROCESS.)
WE HAVE A SERIOUS PROBLEM HERE: Did I just finish this book ? or DID THE BOOK JUST FINISH ME ???????( I'm so unable to form any words, LET . ME . PROCESS.)
September 29, 2023
⭐️ 5 stars ⭐️
Even re-reading this it still holds its place in my five star shelf.
Hidden Scars is the perfect blend of enemies to lovers and hurt/comfort— my two favorite tropes so of course I loved this.
I loved the evolution and growth of Preston’s character, the angst was perfectly angsty and the smut was rough and lovely and the same time.
The ending was slightly anti-climactic, but still pretty satisfying.
CW and tropes(spoilers):
- hockey players
- Teammates and roommates
- Enemies-to-lovers
- MC with touch-aversion
- Abuse and mention of past child abuse
- Hurt/comfort
- Strict top/bottom
- Mild edging
- Slapping
- Frotting
“He calms me, soothes the ragged edges my life has left on my soul.”
Even re-reading this it still holds its place in my five star shelf.
Hidden Scars is the perfect blend of enemies to lovers and hurt/comfort— my two favorite tropes so of course I loved this.
I loved the evolution and growth of Preston’s character, the angst was perfectly angsty and the smut was rough and lovely and the same time.
The ending was slightly anti-climactic, but still pretty satisfying.
CW and tropes(spoilers):
- hockey players
- Teammates and roommates
- Enemies-to-lovers
- MC with touch-aversion
- Abuse and mention of past child abuse
- Hurt/comfort
- Strict top/bottom
- Mild edging
- Slapping
- Frotting
October 29, 2022
"There was something about you from the very beginning that called to me, that told me I needed you just as much as you would me."
Star Rating: 5/5 ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
POV: Dual
HEA: Yes
Spice Rating: 4/5 🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️
ARC provided in exchange for an honest review
Overall Opinion
Wow this book!! I have been sitting on how to word this review for the past couple days as I go through all the emotions and whatever I say will not do this book justice. Heart wrenching, intense and worth ever second spent reading. I devoured it in one sitting, it was like crack and I could not put it down. I don't want to spoil anything at all so I will keep it vague but honestly what these two, especially Preston, went through was completely devastating. I could not help loving them both, Preston being the angry closed off person he is, and Jeremy being all love and caring that Preston so desperately needs. The chemistry between these two was off-the-charts explosive and and dialed all the way up! Seeing these two go through everything together ripped me apart and slowly glued me back up riddled with emotion. The author did an amazing job as not just building wonderful characters but also with the plot and world-building, creating a story that flowed and soared perfectly. Overall, this book is going into my favourite books for the year and I still feel all the emotions as if I was still reading it!
Read if you like:
❣️ M/M Romance
❣️ College Hockey
❣️ Enemies-to-Lovers
❣️ Hurt/Comfort
❣️ Grumpy/Sunshine
❣️ HEA
Star Rating: 5/5 ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
POV: Dual
HEA: Yes
Spice Rating: 4/5 🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️
ARC provided in exchange for an honest review
Overall Opinion
Wow this book!! I have been sitting on how to word this review for the past couple days as I go through all the emotions and whatever I say will not do this book justice. Heart wrenching, intense and worth ever second spent reading. I devoured it in one sitting, it was like crack and I could not put it down. I don't want to spoil anything at all so I will keep it vague but honestly what these two, especially Preston, went through was completely devastating. I could not help loving them both, Preston being the angry closed off person he is, and Jeremy being all love and caring that Preston so desperately needs. The chemistry between these two was off-the-charts explosive and and dialed all the way up! Seeing these two go through everything together ripped me apart and slowly glued me back up riddled with emotion. The author did an amazing job as not just building wonderful characters but also with the plot and world-building, creating a story that flowed and soared perfectly. Overall, this book is going into my favourite books for the year and I still feel all the emotions as if I was still reading it!
Read if you like:
❣️ M/M Romance
❣️ College Hockey
❣️ Enemies-to-Lovers
❣️ Hurt/Comfort
❣️ Grumpy/Sunshine
❣️ HEA
November 7, 2023
I usually don't like to use words like "hate" but yeah, I hate this book.
So many people love this book, I just... Can't.
So we are introduced to Preston - he have an amazing life, rich, talented, at least on the outside - but his father is abusing him for years, he just cuts his son just because, as a way of punishment.
First, I just can't suspend my disbelief enough to justify someone getting this abused for years and do sports without any problems. His father did small surgery on his son without any anesthesia and he never, ever got it infected even playing hockey - a contact sport -. It would be impossible to hide for long.
Then we have - please hurt me again - Jeremy.
Imagine you discovered the person you loved was getting abused, and instead of supporting them into getting help, trying to reach out, having a serious conversation about it... You do nothing more than just enabling him and bang him anytime you feel he needs it ... But we are supposed to believe they are in love...
To be honest this books sounded like something the author knew where it was going until like 30% off the book and the rest of the book she just wing it...
So many people love this book, I just... Can't.
So we are introduced to Preston - he have an amazing life, rich, talented, at least on the outside - but his father is abusing him for years, he just cuts his son just because, as a way of punishment.
First, I just can't suspend my disbelief enough to justify someone getting this abused for years and do sports without any problems. His father did small surgery on his son without any anesthesia and he never, ever got it infected even playing hockey - a contact sport -. It would be impossible to hide for long.
Then we have - please hurt me again - Jeremy.
Imagine you discovered the person you loved was getting abused, and instead of supporting them into getting help, trying to reach out, having a serious conversation about it... You do nothing more than just enabling him and bang him anytime you feel he needs it ... But we are supposed to believe they are in love...
To be honest this books sounded like something the author knew where it was going until like 30% off the book and the rest of the book she just wing it...
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Read
January 9, 2024Audio: 5 stars Iggy Toma and Teddy Hamilton 😍🔥
Book: DNF @59%
Uh what in the fuck am I reading haha.
I feel no romantic connection between these two main characters and Preston’s dad is a fuckface.
Well had to have my first dnf of the year at some point just didn’t expect it to happen so soon!
I just couldn’t do with all this back and forth whiplash Preston and Jeremy are giving… it is driving me insane… and I honestly can’t read anymore of Preston’s dad, he is the literal worst.
I am going to skip to the end to see what happens but I’m not torturing myself anymore!
Book: DNF @59%
Uh what in the fuck am I reading haha.
I feel no romantic connection between these two main characters and Preston’s dad is a fuckface.
Well had to have my first dnf of the year at some point just didn’t expect it to happen so soon!
I just couldn’t do with all this back and forth whiplash Preston and Jeremy are giving… it is driving me insane… and I honestly can’t read anymore of Preston’s dad, he is the literal worst.
I am going to skip to the end to see what happens but I’m not torturing myself anymore!
November 4, 2022
5 Heart Wrenching Stars
Hidden Scars is a story of trauma, love, and healing. The characters are intense and complex. If one couple are soulmates and belongs together, Preston and Jeremy are that couple. I’m obsessed with this book.
Preston is an intense grump, a college hockey star, and on his way to the NHL. From the outside, it looks like he has it all, which could be farther from the truth. He is fiercely protective and keeps people away for a reason.
Jeremy is the sunshine hockey player. Easygoing and fun-loving guy. He is caring and very patient. Jeremy's family is loving and kind; the banter with his family is hysterical.
Preston keeps his secret from everyone to protect his sister. What he went through is horrific. I cried for him for most of this book. As much as he tries to keep Jeremy at a distance, he can’t. He doesn’t know what true love is and a loving touch. Seriously it broke my heart. Jeremy is patient but make no mistake; he does stand up for himself. He knows deep down Preston has a story. These two together are seriously explosive. Their kinks perfectly line up.
Hidden Scars is one of my top five reads of the year and my favorite book from this author. The author did her research, and it shows especially the ins and outs of hockey.
Hidden Scars is a must-read.
Hidden Scars is a story of trauma, love, and healing. The characters are intense and complex. If one couple are soulmates and belongs together, Preston and Jeremy are that couple. I’m obsessed with this book.
Preston is an intense grump, a college hockey star, and on his way to the NHL. From the outside, it looks like he has it all, which could be farther from the truth. He is fiercely protective and keeps people away for a reason.
Jeremy is the sunshine hockey player. Easygoing and fun-loving guy. He is caring and very patient. Jeremy's family is loving and kind; the banter with his family is hysterical.
Preston keeps his secret from everyone to protect his sister. What he went through is horrific. I cried for him for most of this book. As much as he tries to keep Jeremy at a distance, he can’t. He doesn’t know what true love is and a loving touch. Seriously it broke my heart. Jeremy is patient but make no mistake; he does stand up for himself. He knows deep down Preston has a story. These two together are seriously explosive. Their kinks perfectly line up.
Hidden Scars is one of my top five reads of the year and my favorite book from this author. The author did her research, and it shows especially the ins and outs of hockey.
Hidden Scars is a must-read.
November 5, 2022
I was so excited for this book based on a preview + fan art that I saw but it just wasn't it. I felt like in terms of Jeremy + Preston as a couple, it was so rushed and I didn't feel like they made any connection at all, all the sudden Preston was just super possessive??? Everything with Preston's dad felt way too unrealistic, especially the ending. I also understand that Preston is supposed to be an asshole but his major comments about food did not sit right with me. The proposal at the end also didn't make any sense to me?? The saving grace of this book was Jeremy's family.
I see a lot of 4 and 5 star reviews so maybe I missed something? Maybe I just hyped this book up so much in my head that I set myself up for disappointment because it wasn't exactly like the imaginary story I had made up in my head for it?
I see a lot of 4 and 5 star reviews so maybe I missed something? Maybe I just hyped this book up so much in my head that I set myself up for disappointment because it wasn't exactly like the imaginary story I had made up in my head for it?
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
June 10, 2024
Hidden Scars is a story that is more complex than I ever could have anticipated. It has many elements that make it a highly addictive story. This is a multifaceted story featuring: bullying, roommates to lovers and hurt/comfort elements that make for such a complicated and moving story.
Hidden Scars focuses on Preston, who is a legendary hockey player that is a standoffish grump who is has many secrets. His roommate Jeremy is the complete opposite and is shocked by the blatant hostility coming from his roommate. They butt heads, disagree often, while simmering beneath every interaction is a sizzling chemistry difficult to ignore.
The relationship between Jeremy and Preston is what drives this story. They both have a connection that forces Preston to reveal many deeply troubling truths about his life he keeps hidden. Jeremy is determined to help his roommate escape and confront his dark past, which leads to many nerve-racking situations.
Preston is a complicated character and the reality of his situation is extremely troubling and offers many reasons for his behavior. The darker aspect of this story was very well handled and I appreciated the gentle approach Jeremy had with showing another person love, security and safety. Jeremy literally becomes Preston's safe place, which makes their relationship even more endearing.
Overall Hidden Scars is a wonderfully dark, intense story where two complete opposites find a connection and together they cannot imagine a life without the other. Another excellent story from this author, I cannot wait for her next one!
Hidden Scars focuses on Preston, who is a legendary hockey player that is a standoffish grump who is has many secrets. His roommate Jeremy is the complete opposite and is shocked by the blatant hostility coming from his roommate. They butt heads, disagree often, while simmering beneath every interaction is a sizzling chemistry difficult to ignore.
The relationship between Jeremy and Preston is what drives this story. They both have a connection that forces Preston to reveal many deeply troubling truths about his life he keeps hidden. Jeremy is determined to help his roommate escape and confront his dark past, which leads to many nerve-racking situations.
Preston is a complicated character and the reality of his situation is extremely troubling and offers many reasons for his behavior. The darker aspect of this story was very well handled and I appreciated the gentle approach Jeremy had with showing another person love, security and safety. Jeremy literally becomes Preston's safe place, which makes their relationship even more endearing.
Overall Hidden Scars is a wonderfully dark, intense story where two complete opposites find a connection and together they cannot imagine a life without the other. Another excellent story from this author, I cannot wait for her next one!
November 13, 2022
First of all there are TW you can find them on the authors website if you’re someone who is sensitive please read them first.
I have been sitting on this book, I tried not to read the reviews because I wanted to form my own opinions. All I can say is, I’m a tough nut to crack and I think I’m desensitised when it comes to emotion, but this book along with just a handful of others will be one that I talk about and remember for a long time.
I started the book and from the first page I wasn’t sure if I was going to be able to carry on, the raw emotion of it smacked me in the face, I reached out to a couple of book friends who had read it and they promised it would be worth it to carry on, so I did! Boy was it worth it!!
This book has so much going on, it’s not just a “romance book”, a “roommates to lovers” read, they sound nice and sweet, this book was not that! This book is dark, intense, so much trauma, hate, love, emotion, hurt & comfort, friendship, loyalty, kinks and great spice. If these sound like your thing then it’s a must read for you.
Preston is the all star hockey player, but has only known abuse since the age of ten, he’s been conditioned to always be the best and nothing more, but even that isn’t good enough. The things he goes through to protect his sister is second to none. When his roommate/teammate starts to push his buttons he doesn’t know how to cope, he has so much hate and self loathing inside him it’s tearing him apart but he don’t know how to deal with emotion because he’s never been show love.
Jeremy Is a loveable, friendly, Out gay man, he has a great family network and he’s great with his teammates, he even has a bit of Brendan on the side, but it’s not what he wants. Jeremy puts up with the hate that rolls off his new teammate Preston, but he has a feeling there’s more to him and he’s determined to help him in anyway he can even though he’s constantly rejected by him. He’s loyal, dependable and loving, he see’s something in Preston and he wants to be the one to help him, support him, teach him to love and accept it, to know that he has someone on his side.
The connection these two have is powerful, it starts off in hate then turns to lust, then turns to understanding and trust and then love. Preston is a broken man and I love watching him be rebuilt by his new found family. This book wrecked my cold heart, it will forever be at the top on my list for a raw emotional read, full of angst, trauma and two kinks I love.
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️
Edit for this on my insta emmareads40
I have been sitting on this book, I tried not to read the reviews because I wanted to form my own opinions. All I can say is, I’m a tough nut to crack and I think I’m desensitised when it comes to emotion, but this book along with just a handful of others will be one that I talk about and remember for a long time.
I started the book and from the first page I wasn’t sure if I was going to be able to carry on, the raw emotion of it smacked me in the face, I reached out to a couple of book friends who had read it and they promised it would be worth it to carry on, so I did! Boy was it worth it!!
This book has so much going on, it’s not just a “romance book”, a “roommates to lovers” read, they sound nice and sweet, this book was not that! This book is dark, intense, so much trauma, hate, love, emotion, hurt & comfort, friendship, loyalty, kinks and great spice. If these sound like your thing then it’s a must read for you.
Preston is the all star hockey player, but has only known abuse since the age of ten, he’s been conditioned to always be the best and nothing more, but even that isn’t good enough. The things he goes through to protect his sister is second to none. When his roommate/teammate starts to push his buttons he doesn’t know how to cope, he has so much hate and self loathing inside him it’s tearing him apart but he don’t know how to deal with emotion because he’s never been show love.
Jeremy Is a loveable, friendly, Out gay man, he has a great family network and he’s great with his teammates, he even has a bit of Brendan on the side, but it’s not what he wants. Jeremy puts up with the hate that rolls off his new teammate Preston, but he has a feeling there’s more to him and he’s determined to help him in anyway he can even though he’s constantly rejected by him. He’s loyal, dependable and loving, he see’s something in Preston and he wants to be the one to help him, support him, teach him to love and accept it, to know that he has someone on his side.
The connection these two have is powerful, it starts off in hate then turns to lust, then turns to understanding and trust and then love. Preston is a broken man and I love watching him be rebuilt by his new found family. This book wrecked my cold heart, it will forever be at the top on my list for a raw emotional read, full of angst, trauma and two kinks I love.
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️
Edit for this on my insta emmareads40
January 23, 2024
“I don’t know how to touch without fucking.” His confession breaks my heart. Has no one just held him because he needed it? Offered a hug? I wrap my arms around his neck and bring him into me. “It’s okay, I do.”
There's just something about the broken traumatized boy finding his safe space boy that makes my heart soar.
I honestly could not put this book down (I risked my fiancé's wrath by staying up til 2am reading this) because I found the story to be so compelling.
Is the writing not my favorite? Yes, but the emotions, abuse, healing, and comfort explored really made up for it.
Preston has an abusive father but sticks it out in order to protect his little sister. He's forced to transfer to a hockey team closer to home so his dad can continue his "corrections". There, he's roomed with Jeremy and what ensues is a rocky but tender relationship.
I just want to wrap Preston in bubble wrap. He's touch starved and with walls built so thick and high. See his vulnerability with Jeremy made my heart ache. I will say his dependence on Jeremy was alarming at the midpoint, but they do end up going to therapy to work on it.
Jeremy was so freaking patient, understanding, and intuitive. I thought they were an excellent match for each other and I was so happy seeing their relationship bloom.
And softness aside, the two of them really love rough sex and it shows hehe. Preston marks up Jeremy's body every time, is very possessive to the point where he'll go after players on the rink for roughing up Jeremy (swoon), and they just balance each other out.
I wouldn't say this is angsty per se, just because my definition of angst, but the poignancy was top tier for me.
Side note: I cried over a quilt.
There's just something about the broken traumatized boy finding his safe space boy that makes my heart soar.
I honestly could not put this book down (I risked my fiancé's wrath by staying up til 2am reading this) because I found the story to be so compelling.
Is the writing not my favorite? Yes, but the emotions, abuse, healing, and comfort explored really made up for it.
Preston has an abusive father but sticks it out in order to protect his little sister. He's forced to transfer to a hockey team closer to home so his dad can continue his "corrections". There, he's roomed with Jeremy and what ensues is a rocky but tender relationship.
I just want to wrap Preston in bubble wrap. He's touch starved and with walls built so thick and high. See his vulnerability with Jeremy made my heart ache. I will say his dependence on Jeremy was alarming at the midpoint, but they do end up going to therapy to work on it.
Jeremy was so freaking patient, understanding, and intuitive. I thought they were an excellent match for each other and I was so happy seeing their relationship bloom.
And softness aside, the two of them really love rough sex and it shows hehe. Preston marks up Jeremy's body every time, is very possessive to the point where he'll go after players on the rink for roughing up Jeremy (swoon), and they just balance each other out.
I wouldn't say this is angsty per se, just because my definition of angst, but the poignancy was top tier for me.
Side note: I cried over a quilt.
Read
November 11, 2022DNF 10%
This book gives me bad vibes
This book gives me bad vibes
September 14, 2023
* 4 stars *
Hidden Scars is a fairly long novel but I don't think there are many scenes that could be cut out of the story and not make it seem like something's missing.
Jeremy and Preston don't have the best of starts but as the weeks pass they form a reluctant connection that neither likes to talk about.
Jeremy sees that Preston is hurting even though he doesn't know the reason why and he's trying to be there for him and help him any way he can.
Preston is carrying a huge load on his shoulders all alone and doesn't feel like he can open up about the situation he's in to anyone.
As they grow closer and closer together Preston starts to relax around Jeremy and to trust him. He opens up little by little and starts revealing pieces of himself and his story.
Jeremy's friends and his family were amazing people and valuable supportive characters. I liked the scenes at his hometown and how Preston connected with Jeremy's grandmother of all people.
Brendon and Paul gave the story much needed comedic relief but they were also great friends and always ready to step up and help. And the subtle hints about Paul's attraction to Brendon made me curious about their story. It will be the second book of the series and the title is Blurred Lines.
Even though I liked this story a lot, the MCs' behaviors made me uncomfortable at times.
It didn't seem like they had a healthy relationship for the majority of the book. The possessiveness and jealousy bordered on abuse and restriction. Yes, Jeremy went along with the limitations but that doesn't erase the fact that Preston's behavior raised many red flags.
I'll admit that some of the scenes were Preston was jealous or possessive worked better than others, but most of the time he was OTT with his reactions.
I think that they had settled a little bit more in their relationship and were more secure as the book neared its conclusion so I hope they managed to form a healthy relationship in the end.
~ I won a copy of this book in a Facebook giveaway. A review was not part of the deal. ~
Hidden Scars is a fairly long novel but I don't think there are many scenes that could be cut out of the story and not make it seem like something's missing.
Jeremy and Preston don't have the best of starts but as the weeks pass they form a reluctant connection that neither likes to talk about.
Jeremy sees that Preston is hurting even though he doesn't know the reason why and he's trying to be there for him and help him any way he can.
Preston is carrying a huge load on his shoulders all alone and doesn't feel like he can open up about the situation he's in to anyone.
As they grow closer and closer together Preston starts to relax around Jeremy and to trust him. He opens up little by little and starts revealing pieces of himself and his story.
Jeremy's friends and his family were amazing people and valuable supportive characters. I liked the scenes at his hometown and how Preston connected with Jeremy's grandmother of all people.
Brendon and Paul gave the story much needed comedic relief but they were also great friends and always ready to step up and help. And the subtle hints about Paul's attraction to Brendon made me curious about their story. It will be the second book of the series and the title is Blurred Lines.
Even though I liked this story a lot, the MCs' behaviors made me uncomfortable at times.
It didn't seem like they had a healthy relationship for the majority of the book. The possessiveness and jealousy bordered on abuse and restriction. Yes, Jeremy went along with the limitations but that doesn't erase the fact that Preston's behavior raised many red flags.
I'll admit that some of the scenes were Preston was jealous or possessive worked better than others, but most of the time he was OTT with his reactions.
I think that they had settled a little bit more in their relationship and were more secure as the book neared its conclusion so I hope they managed to form a healthy relationship in the end.
~ I won a copy of this book in a Facebook giveaway. A review was not part of the deal. ~
October 23, 2023
This worked out better for me than Bully King but it still wasn't love. I think maybe I just don't click with this author. If über possessive to the point of violence MCs are your jam, you'll probably love this one.
Preston is hiding his pain and abuse by being an ass to everyone on his new hockey team, including his new roommate Jeremy. I felt for Peston but he was so horrible, even violently so, that it took me way too long to warm up to the relationship. I eventually did, and Preston does have a breakthrough, and while I loved them together later on, the start to all of it didn't completely work for me. I adored Jeremy's family (except for his supposed older sister who acted like a bratty pre-teen and annoyed me every time she was on page) and how loving and supportive they were and Jeremy's grandmother's relationship with Preston was really lovely.
I'm glad that we see Preston eventually seeking help for his trauma.
I didn't hate the story, but I mostly kept reading just to see how things resolved with Preston's father. I also found that there was a lot of repetition of thoughts and a lot of sex to the point I skimmed some of those scenes. Again, I think I just don't completely click with this author's stories and will probably give them a pass in the future.
Preston is hiding his pain and abuse by being an ass to everyone on his new hockey team, including his new roommate Jeremy. I felt for Peston but he was so horrible, even violently so, that it took me way too long to warm up to the relationship. I eventually did, and Preston does have a breakthrough, and while I loved them together later on, the start to all of it didn't completely work for me. I adored Jeremy's family (except for his supposed older sister who acted like a bratty pre-teen and annoyed me every time she was on page) and how loving and supportive they were and Jeremy's grandmother's relationship with Preston was really lovely.
I'm glad that we see Preston eventually seeking help for his trauma.
I didn't hate the story, but I mostly kept reading just to see how things resolved with Preston's father. I also found that there was a lot of repetition of thoughts and a lot of sex to the point I skimmed some of those scenes. Again, I think I just don't completely click with this author's stories and will probably give them a pass in the future.
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