A Goodreads user
asked:
Why is the term 'White Fragility' is not equally as offensive and unjust as a coloured person being accused of 'playing the race card' or 'victim card?' The defensive moves include: 'anger, fear, guilt, argumentation and silence (The whimsical contradiction of the last two is staggering) What is your average, non-racist white person to do when they are accused of being racist? I'm not white nor am I black.
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White Fragility: Why It’s So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism,
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Abi Inman
If you read the book, she answers this question! Here's an edited explanation from another question:
One of the first things DiAngelo addresses in the book is that she's using the term "racist" the way the scholarly community around race issues uses it, not the way it's used colloquially. Being racist is not the same as making an assumption about someone based on race. Racism is only racism when it has institutional power behind it. When pointing out the defense systems of white people, DiAngelo a) is not having any effect on their safety or success and b) is not coming at them from an uneven place of institutional power. Therefore she is not being racist. You could say she's making an assumption about you based on your race, and that's certainly true! But the assumption she's making about your socialized habits could not be more different from the centuries of entrenched degradation, violence, and exploitation of people of color.
You should try giving the book a read! I can't explain this nearly as articulately as DiAngelo does, but I really think it would clear up this question for you.
One of the first things DiAngelo addresses in the book is that she's using the term "racist" the way the scholarly community around race issues uses it, not the way it's used colloquially. Being racist is not the same as making an assumption about someone based on race. Racism is only racism when it has institutional power behind it. When pointing out the defense systems of white people, DiAngelo a) is not having any effect on their safety or success and b) is not coming at them from an uneven place of institutional power. Therefore she is not being racist. You could say she's making an assumption about you based on your race, and that's certainly true! But the assumption she's making about your socialized habits could not be more different from the centuries of entrenched degradation, violence, and exploitation of people of color.
You should try giving the book a read! I can't explain this nearly as articulately as DiAngelo does, but I really think it would clear up this question for you.
Martha
You are exhibiting white fragility in your question, even if you're not white. Educate yourself, and maybe you can start to answer the question.
Sammy
Reading the book may be a good place to start. Try to read it with an open mind. These concepts are hard - concepts like socialization, systemic and institutional inequality, histories, etc. If you want to challenge racism - if you are truly someone who identifies as "not-racist" (something DiAngelo challenges in the book but it probably a good start) it will take some time (maybe forever) and some effort (likely a lot) - if I had read this book a year or two ago, I may have been defensive at the end. I plan on reading it again in the future.
John Doe
I think it's no coincidence you'll see mostly white liberals replying to you and reviewing this book favourably. It's like a new suburban religion - the original sin being the whiteness. Boy, do they love hearing about how big of a problem they are specifically, the middle-class whites, so they can find a way to be absolved of their white guilt by another white or a black person by being told they acted correctly. It's a narcissistic exercise. You do not solve racial inequality by constantly self-flagellating, you are just masturbating.
Rebecca
It *is* equally offensive.
My suggestion for your other question, and for accusations of every type:
If a person is accused of some kind of moral offense, probably the best response is to say, "Would you be willing to explain?" If they say no, say, "Oh, okay; well, thanks anyway. I'll think about what you said." Then go home and think about it and come up with your own conclusions about whether you want to change or not.
If they do explain, say "Thanks for the explanation. I'll think more about what you said." And then go home and think about it and come up with your own conclusion.
These are just handy communication tools for dealing with conflict in a calm and respectful way. Look at that: two brief paragraphs, and nothing about race. Her book could have been a whole lot shorter.
My suggestion for your other question, and for accusations of every type:
If a person is accused of some kind of moral offense, probably the best response is to say, "Would you be willing to explain?" If they say no, say, "Oh, okay; well, thanks anyway. I'll think about what you said." Then go home and think about it and come up with your own conclusions about whether you want to change or not.
If they do explain, say "Thanks for the explanation. I'll think more about what you said." And then go home and think about it and come up with your own conclusion.
These are just handy communication tools for dealing with conflict in a calm and respectful way. Look at that: two brief paragraphs, and nothing about race. Her book could have been a whole lot shorter.
Rachel
I have just completed this book and found it to be truly insightful, shedding light on areas within myself that I have never examined before.
With regard to your question... What is your average, non-racist white person to do when they are accused of being racist?
1. Get yourself to the point where you can withstand the difficulty of the feelings that come up for you around race and are able to inhibit your defensive responses. From a less defended place, you can actually listen to ideas that might be hard to hear.
2. Acknowledge that in the USA, we are living in a society where almost all of the people in charge of everything (politics, military, entertainment, banking, business) are white. In our culture, white people get to have the power. That message is soaked into our bones so it feels quite normal and unremarkable that white people are in charge. We are mostly not aware of this bias but it is the water we swim in. We live in a racist society.
3. Forgive yourself. Your internalized racism is not an indication that you are a bad person, it is a belief system that we have all inherited as a result of being born into this culture. The first step is to admit that it's there. Because it is there. It's in me. It's in you.
4. Do the often uncomfortable work of looking inward. We are all being asked to look at the racism in us. We are taking a look at the water we swim in, which is such a part of how our culture works that it is hard to see; the pervasive story that white people are superior too all other races, black people most of all, and deserve to be in charge of everything as a result.
5. Breathe. This stuff is HARD.
For example, what if, instead of focusing on what might feel offensive to you about the title, you find a way to move past that defensive response and explore the concept. You feeling triggered by the title might be a way your psyche (ego, self-image) is resisting actually considering some uncomfortable truths.
Let's get sturdy enough to actually talk about race, white people!
This book is a great ally in that pursuit.
With regard to your question... What is your average, non-racist white person to do when they are accused of being racist?
1. Get yourself to the point where you can withstand the difficulty of the feelings that come up for you around race and are able to inhibit your defensive responses. From a less defended place, you can actually listen to ideas that might be hard to hear.
2. Acknowledge that in the USA, we are living in a society where almost all of the people in charge of everything (politics, military, entertainment, banking, business) are white. In our culture, white people get to have the power. That message is soaked into our bones so it feels quite normal and unremarkable that white people are in charge. We are mostly not aware of this bias but it is the water we swim in. We live in a racist society.
3. Forgive yourself. Your internalized racism is not an indication that you are a bad person, it is a belief system that we have all inherited as a result of being born into this culture. The first step is to admit that it's there. Because it is there. It's in me. It's in you.
4. Do the often uncomfortable work of looking inward. We are all being asked to look at the racism in us. We are taking a look at the water we swim in, which is such a part of how our culture works that it is hard to see; the pervasive story that white people are superior too all other races, black people most of all, and deserve to be in charge of everything as a result.
5. Breathe. This stuff is HARD.
For example, what if, instead of focusing on what might feel offensive to you about the title, you find a way to move past that defensive response and explore the concept. You feeling triggered by the title might be a way your psyche (ego, self-image) is resisting actually considering some uncomfortable truths.
Let's get sturdy enough to actually talk about race, white people!
This book is a great ally in that pursuit.
Latonya
With questions like this...This book was written SPECIFICALLY for you...
Mario Jones
If you are not white why are you so concerned about their sensibilities. Its the title of a book. Do you want to police every title out there in regard to whether it is offensive. If the title of a book is offensive it is usually that way for affect. It is obvious to me that you didn't read the book, but still had the nerve to criticize it. I think you are the exact person she was writing about.
Dara Harvey
According to this book, you can't be white and non-racist. No joke. I haven't read this book but I've seen enough reviews and reactions, and read enough excerpts from it, to know I could never get through the whole thing without vomiting. Robin would presume that's because I'm a fragile white person. She takes HER personal thoughts and presumes they are the thoughts of ALL white people in the US. She is incredibly racist and assumes all white people are just like her. And people PAY her thousands of dollars an hour to come and tell them they are racist just like her! It is sickening.
SJW/wokeism has become a cult and this book is its holy scripture. You're not allowed to apply rational thinking to it. Just read it, swallow it, and spend the rest of your life self-flagellating. Why? Because too many people have joined the cult and if you're afraid of being labelled racist just for being white, this is what you have to do to atone for your original sin. No thank you. I will happily stay outside this bubble and pray the people inside wake up from their mental coma.
https://youtu.be/LCEeVAzviUY (beginning 34:37).
SJW/wokeism has become a cult and this book is its holy scripture. You're not allowed to apply rational thinking to it. Just read it, swallow it, and spend the rest of your life self-flagellating. Why? Because too many people have joined the cult and if you're afraid of being labelled racist just for being white, this is what you have to do to atone for your original sin. No thank you. I will happily stay outside this bubble and pray the people inside wake up from their mental coma.
https://youtu.be/LCEeVAzviUY (beginning 34:37).
Ketutar Jensen
Well... in my mind when we talk about "white fragility", we are talking about a thing that exists. Just like "white privilege". One can exchange the "white" to any other group of people. I would say there is "fragility" in all groups of people, just as there is "privilege". I don't find either of those terms in any way offensive or racist.
When we talk about people playing a card - again, anyone can do that - we are talking about flawed argumentation. If the person really IS "playing a card", then it's just right to confront this, but there are people who will accuse people of "playing cards" even when they are bringing up real issues. One could say they are "playing the playing a card card". And when that happens, it is racist (or what ever card is being accused of having been played).
"The defensive moves" you list are examples of how some people react. No-one is saying they are all exhibited at the same time by the same people. That means, that some people get angry, some people get afraid, some feel guilty, some feel other things. Some react by arguing about things, some react with silence. Some people do other things.
I don't think "whimsical" means what you seem to think it means.
What is your average, non-racist white person to do when they are accused of being racist?
What anyone should do when they are accused of things.
Are you guilty? Then take responsibility, apologize, try to set things right and stop doing wrong.
Are you innocent? Then ignore the accusation.
You think you aren't racist, but people keep accusing you of it? Ask specific examples of why they think you are racist. Read books like this to find out how things you feel are totally ok and harmless, are actually harming others.
One thing to do is to admit that there is racism in the world. That there is such a thing as "white privilege". (Sucks when one is white, but I kind of think it sucks more not being white...). That I am privileged in ways I can't even start to imagine just because I happened to be born in Europe to generations of white people. That I can't even imagine what it is like living without this privilege that to me is self-evident. That the mere fact that I see all the people are "equal" is in itself racist, because it implies that non-white people's struggle doesn't really matter.
It's not a question of guilt, shame and blame, it's a question of listening to people, acknowledging people, believing people when they tell about themselves, their lives and experiences, and admitting that I don't know someone else's reality.
When we talk about people playing a card - again, anyone can do that - we are talking about flawed argumentation. If the person really IS "playing a card", then it's just right to confront this, but there are people who will accuse people of "playing cards" even when they are bringing up real issues. One could say they are "playing the playing a card card". And when that happens, it is racist (or what ever card is being accused of having been played).
"The defensive moves" you list are examples of how some people react. No-one is saying they are all exhibited at the same time by the same people. That means, that some people get angry, some people get afraid, some feel guilty, some feel other things. Some react by arguing about things, some react with silence. Some people do other things.
I don't think "whimsical" means what you seem to think it means.
What is your average, non-racist white person to do when they are accused of being racist?
What anyone should do when they are accused of things.
Are you guilty? Then take responsibility, apologize, try to set things right and stop doing wrong.
Are you innocent? Then ignore the accusation.
You think you aren't racist, but people keep accusing you of it? Ask specific examples of why they think you are racist. Read books like this to find out how things you feel are totally ok and harmless, are actually harming others.
One thing to do is to admit that there is racism in the world. That there is such a thing as "white privilege". (Sucks when one is white, but I kind of think it sucks more not being white...). That I am privileged in ways I can't even start to imagine just because I happened to be born in Europe to generations of white people. That I can't even imagine what it is like living without this privilege that to me is self-evident. That the mere fact that I see all the people are "equal" is in itself racist, because it implies that non-white people's struggle doesn't really matter.
It's not a question of guilt, shame and blame, it's a question of listening to people, acknowledging people, believing people when they tell about themselves, their lives and experiences, and admitting that I don't know someone else's reality.
Paula
THe average non-racist white person needs to think harder- because I've seen my black MD boss help kids all day and be afraid driving home with a police car behind her. Being non racists means supporting racially equal behavior- ALL THE TIME
BTW - colored is not an okay term
BTW - colored is not an okay term
Lewis Craig
What are we to do when we are accused of racism? Listen very carefully. Ask questions. Don't be defensive. Be willing to hear another's opinion whether you agree or not. Ponder what they say.
Eric
Given that everything, including common sense and reason, are being turned upside down and inside out, given that the Marxist totalitarianism of the left has to use and create new words to avoid the obvious vileness of its real message and meaning (it's a dogma that murdered ~150 million people in the 20th century), the term "white fragility" is, essentially, a modern day version of the word "uppity."
Scotticus
I’m not sure I can really give you an answer on the first question. I don't think the two are necessarily that comparable other than applying more to certain groups than others.
Well, as for the "race/victim card," "victim card" could be applied more broadly, though it may often lead back to race. In the U.S., "race card" would be referring to an excuse based on race by a person who isn't white, not always of a criminal nature. A black person might say they only got arrested because they're black. That is "playing the race card." It may be true in some cases that it was JUST because they were black, but it often includes actual crimes committed, probable cause, etc. Maybe the phrase sounds tacky or offensive, but it does indeed happen. That's not to say every instance of someone being accused of "playing the race/victim card" is correct. But let's say an actual criminal is arrested for committing a crime and uses this as an excuse. Can you really deny that he's "playing the race card?" If a white is a minority in a non-white country, and there are activists spinning a narrative of racial oppression, then that white person could possibly play the “race card,” by the way.
A big difference here is that "race/victim card" is very selectively applied to many groups and is situational, while white fragility essentially applies to all whites in the U.S. (and possibly outside of it) to varying degrees. Probably, Dr. DiAngelo might say she sometimes struggles with it herself, even now. It’s presented as a bunch of symptoms to be treated, that’s always a work in progress. So she thinks whites will sometimes either see themselves as being individuals or ignorant of race, and, therefore, not properly acknowledging race; or that they have a white identity that’s protecting the white majorities’ hold on power. It’s essentially about fomenting guilt in whites and curbing any dissent in the already dwindling white majority and to get them more concerned with issues of race and to fight against what she deems as racial oppression. Essentially going from stable white identity or lack of concern with race -> acknowledging white fragility -> white guilt. Dr. DiAngelo—I'm sure—wouldn't put it that way, but having "white guilt" is certainly helpful for her cause.
As for what a non-racist (eh, it’s not necessarily an on/off switch of racist/non-racist, but we’ll go with that) white person can do when they’re accused of being racist: It’s not like it’s the end of the world if someone calls you that. Depending on the narrative they’re pushing, you’re either racist or not racist in their eyes. The word racist has been expanded more and more overtime to include more people for critique. Essentially no one is free from this critique, because the meaning of it has become so very fluid—and that fluidity is because it’s another weapon to force people to shut up, to kowtow. You must use an appropriate means of attack to get your way, and if it’s no longer working, you repackage it so the people who weren’t racist under the old meaning become racist under the new one. You want meritocracy? Racist. You want limits on immigration? Racist. You want to deport people who are illegally in the country? Racist. That word is used to shut down debate with all of those issues and many, many more. I can’t even take the word seriously from a political perspective anymore. I think the same of phrases like white privilege, white guilt, and white fragility, of course.
Now, I will openly admit that I don’t agree with much of what Dr. DiAngelo says, and I think her voice is destructive, just like the rest of the diversity industry. You can take my biased opinions and compare them with the biased opinions of the people who like the book.
Well, as for the "race/victim card," "victim card" could be applied more broadly, though it may often lead back to race. In the U.S., "race card" would be referring to an excuse based on race by a person who isn't white, not always of a criminal nature. A black person might say they only got arrested because they're black. That is "playing the race card." It may be true in some cases that it was JUST because they were black, but it often includes actual crimes committed, probable cause, etc. Maybe the phrase sounds tacky or offensive, but it does indeed happen. That's not to say every instance of someone being accused of "playing the race/victim card" is correct. But let's say an actual criminal is arrested for committing a crime and uses this as an excuse. Can you really deny that he's "playing the race card?" If a white is a minority in a non-white country, and there are activists spinning a narrative of racial oppression, then that white person could possibly play the “race card,” by the way.
A big difference here is that "race/victim card" is very selectively applied to many groups and is situational, while white fragility essentially applies to all whites in the U.S. (and possibly outside of it) to varying degrees. Probably, Dr. DiAngelo might say she sometimes struggles with it herself, even now. It’s presented as a bunch of symptoms to be treated, that’s always a work in progress. So she thinks whites will sometimes either see themselves as being individuals or ignorant of race, and, therefore, not properly acknowledging race; or that they have a white identity that’s protecting the white majorities’ hold on power. It’s essentially about fomenting guilt in whites and curbing any dissent in the already dwindling white majority and to get them more concerned with issues of race and to fight against what she deems as racial oppression. Essentially going from stable white identity or lack of concern with race -> acknowledging white fragility -> white guilt. Dr. DiAngelo—I'm sure—wouldn't put it that way, but having "white guilt" is certainly helpful for her cause.
As for what a non-racist (eh, it’s not necessarily an on/off switch of racist/non-racist, but we’ll go with that) white person can do when they’re accused of being racist: It’s not like it’s the end of the world if someone calls you that. Depending on the narrative they’re pushing, you’re either racist or not racist in their eyes. The word racist has been expanded more and more overtime to include more people for critique. Essentially no one is free from this critique, because the meaning of it has become so very fluid—and that fluidity is because it’s another weapon to force people to shut up, to kowtow. You must use an appropriate means of attack to get your way, and if it’s no longer working, you repackage it so the people who weren’t racist under the old meaning become racist under the new one. You want meritocracy? Racist. You want limits on immigration? Racist. You want to deport people who are illegally in the country? Racist. That word is used to shut down debate with all of those issues and many, many more. I can’t even take the word seriously from a political perspective anymore. I think the same of phrases like white privilege, white guilt, and white fragility, of course.
Now, I will openly admit that I don’t agree with much of what Dr. DiAngelo says, and I think her voice is destructive, just like the rest of the diversity industry. You can take my biased opinions and compare them with the biased opinions of the people who like the book.
Jacob
Maybe read the book?
Zach Adamz
Because the book is full of contradictive drivel. Don't waste your time.
Richard Guldi
Refering to Blacks as coloured person tells us everything we need to know about you.
Sam Ogren
read the book dude
Celine Fragoso
You obviously have not read the book. If you did, then you simply are missing the point.
Daryl Walsh
We are all racist--that's a start
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